I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
