is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
