Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you will always have a special place in my vag
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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