He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
