Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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