I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
