My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
