So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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