All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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