dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
