My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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