first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
