If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
