Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
