I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
