I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
