I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
