My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
