i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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