Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
