don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
