did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
