it wasn't lemon gatorade
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
