i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
