What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
