wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
