My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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