It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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