Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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