Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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