I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
