Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
