i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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