I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
