apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
