yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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