There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
