i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
