I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
