booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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