Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
