ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
