He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
