Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
