I look better un-naked...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My dick has a subreddit
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
