So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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