Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
