My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
