I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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