please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
