i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
