Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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