you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
