She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
