what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
