There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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